The F*ck World? Episode 1: Because it's easy to make fun of.

... Uhh. Wuddup? I'm legend. I've never done this before so let's jump right in...

I was surfing the news sites today and while on CNN I read this story about a guy who was accused of the attempted murder of his son because he uhhh... "Would not cease public displays of affection with lady..." OK, so you're probably thinking... "Who's Lady?" Or "His father has no right to do that!" Well Lady is... His dog. Yea. Bestiality.

Gross.

Not only is she a dog, but she's also a mutt. C'mon guy, have some goddamn respect for yourself. If I had urges to fuck animals I'd be all over the smokin' hot purebred poodle across the road. But I don't. I Promise. Now you see why his dad beat him with a crow bar. Oh yea, I forgot to mention the crow bar aspect. Seems kinda extreme.. But it's safe to say if someone was putting the moves on my dog I'd find the nearest pointy and/or hard blunt object to impose some bodily harm on him. Hell, it wouldnt even have to be my dog. I'd beat anyone who tried to have sex with a dog, my dog or not. Oh and also he thinks that this dog and him are married "under the eyes of god." If I was god I'd totally be like THE FUCK DUDE?! and smite that mother fucker with a fuckin' thunder bolt!

Sooo dog fucker went to court without the comfort of his "spouse," (Dogs aren't aloud in the courtroom... Obviously).

Oh ONE MORE THING. In April this guy was fined 50 bucks for possession of an unlicensed dog (NOTE: This dog WAS NOT Lady). Which is apparently the politically correct term for "MOTHER FUCKER FUCKED A PUPPY." So let me get this straight, this guy claims to be married to a dog. But fucks some other dog on the side. Not only is that bestial adultery. But it sounds to me like the government is running some kind of bestiality prostitution ring. CONSPIRACY I TELL YA.

BUT WAIT! Maybe this is like... That movie district 9. Maybe this guy just knows too much so they're telling the public media that he's a dog fucker so as to make us not believe a word that comes out of his dirty little sadistic pervert mouth.

Well.. that's enough typing for one day. This is legend... See yea later alligator.

Link from the website:
http://www.trutv.com/weird/just-plain-weird/index.html